


A Stroll Down Memory Lane (Or Your Local Grocery Store Aisle)

by Blondhes



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Domestic Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, EMT Ian Gallagher, Engagement, Established Relationship, Fiona's POV, Future Fic, Gladdis the neighbor, Grocery Store, M/M, Mechanic Mickey Milkovich, POV Outsider, Relationship Reveal, wedding planner mickey, well more like that energy at times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:07:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24403300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blondhes/pseuds/Blondhes
Summary: It's been six years since Fiona has last seen her younger brother, Ian, after he packed a bag at age 18 and never looked back. She hasn't heard a word from him since (well apart from one letter telling he was okay with no return address), so she really isn't expecting to run into him at her local grocery store after all this time. She isn't sure what to make of this new life he made for himself but she's eager to learn more.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 17
Kudos: 301





	A Stroll Down Memory Lane (Or Your Local Grocery Store Aisle)

**Author's Note:**

> It is currently almost 2am. I just want to post this already so if I didn't catch any mistakes, oops! I'm blaming it on my poor sleeping habits.

Fiona peruses the fruit aisle of the local Winco and grabs a few apples, stuffing them in a bag before placing them in her cart. She pulls her crumpled shopping list from her back pocket and tries to read the smudged ink. She can make out ‘lettuce’ and shoves it back into her pocket. She hadn’t gone grocery shopping in weeks but she found a few coupons in a kitchen drawer and decided today was as good as any.

She turns into the next aisle over and heads to the vegetables, passing parsley and kale. She would never buy it but she smiles as she remembers her best friend, Veronica, had once gone on a juice cleanse and only drank smoothies made of the stuff. She shivers just remembering it.

As Fiona parks her cart out of the way of shoppers, she walks over to the lettuce and tries to make herself as small as possible so she isn’t in anyone’s way.

It happens as she is comparing prices of heads of lettuce.

She sees someone approach the stand a few feet down out of her peripheral vision and at first she doesn’t think much of it. It’s as she turns to check up on her cart does she catch a glimpse of fire red hair. 

It’s been six years since her little brother left home, leaving no trace of where he was going, except one letter with no return address, informing her he was safe. Every time she leaves the house she finds herself hoping she’ll find him one day but has never had any luck.

It took her a long time to convince herself to move out of her childhood home. With an absent mother and an addict of a father, she raised her five siblings in that house practically alone. It wasn’t until her sales job offered her a promotion in the next city over with a higher pay, did she seriously consider moving. And now here she was, three months into her new job in a new city, living in a new apartment. It was surprisingly nice. Growing up, her house was constantly vibrating with sound. Kids crying, sirens screaming, and the TV blaring. When she moved, she assumed it would be hard for her to sleep but her neighbors stomped enough upstairs to make up for the change.

So when she moved, the thought of ever seeing her brother again left her mind. She had no clue where he was so the possibility of seeing him was very slim. There is still the possibility he enlisted in the army like he always wanted. Although she asked around and ended up empty handed, there were thousands of young 18 year old boys who sign up, so it was hard to know for sure whether he joined the army or not. Sometimes she found herself hoping he never did join. She couldn’t bear the thought of him getting himself blown up and never learning what happened, still searching for a boy that would never be found. Other times she hopes he did enlist because at least she would know he was living out his dream and she would have a definite place to find him.

But either way, she didn’t actively look for her brother anymore. But as she looks at the back of a man’s bright red hair, she can’t suppress the bubble of hope she feels rising in her chest. The man is tall, probably at least six feet, and has broad shoulders. He’s wearing a gray t-shirt and black jeans and something about him seems familiar to her.

She chances a step closer and takes a deep breath before asking in a tentative voice, “Ian?”

The man’s head swivels and glances around until his eyes lock on hers. Fiona has to shoot her hand to the wall to brace herself at the familiar green gaze. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed since she last saw her brother, she would always recognize those green eyes matched with a splatter of freckles anywhere.

The man’s eyes widen and his mouth gapes open for a beat before he’s speaking. “Fiona? Wh-What are you doing here?”

His voice is much deeper than she remembers. She feels her eyes sting and her throat tightens and the next thing she knows she has flung herself at her little brother, wrapping her arms tight around his neck.

He stumbles back a step but is quick to make up for the unexpected extra weight. He wraps an arm around her back and the familiar weight of his hand breaks something inside her. 

“Oh my God, Ian!” Fiona sobs. “I’ve been so worried. I missed you so much!” She clings to her brother; breathing in his scent that she realizes has changed over the years. He still smells like nicotine and aftershave but now there is a hint of oil that would appear to not mix well but does.

Ian pats her back a few times and then she feels him loosen his grip on her. She suddenly remembers where she is and steps back, wiping tears from her face and trying to look composed. A blond lady who seems around Fiona’s age stares at them weirdly but an old couple to her left by the squash smile at her sadly. Fiona doesn’t even want to try to think of what they must believe is happening before them.

She really looks at Ian’s face for the first time and a part of her heart breaks by how much he’s grown. Gone are his baby cheeks, and instead a sharp jawline has taken its place. He still has a smattering of freckles across his cheeks and nose but they aren’t as prominent anymore. His eyes are still the same green though, and his hair hasn’t changed that much either. It’s grown since his army hair cut but is still short. It’s slicked back but a strand falls just above his eyebrow.

“Sorry about that,” Fiona apologizes. “It just has been so long.”

“No, it’s okay. I get it.” He shrugs. She watches as he turns back to the bell peppers and grabs one green and one red before placing them in a clear plastic bag. “So what are you doing here? When did you leave Chicago?”

“Three months ago. Yeah, I got a good job now and moved when they offered a bigger salary. Still got to make ends meet, you know?” Fiona laughs lightly. It feels so surreal to see her brother there; she hardly registers what she’s saying. She’s just trying to take him all in, wanting to memorize every bit of him in case he disappears again.

“Yeah, I feel that.” He places the bag of peppers into his basket. “So new job, huh? Whatcha doin’?”

Fiona smiles and states proudly, “Sales.” It’s her first job that she isn’t ashamed of when asked and she’s damn good at it too.

Ian’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really? Well that’s a surprise.”

“Yeah, well, it sort of just happened.”

Ian nods and shifts on his feet. There’s an awkward lull in the conversation that’s only getting worse as the silence builds, but she can’t think of anything to say. She’s just too overwhelmed with the fact that she’s even speaking to Ian.

Luckily, Ian breaks the silence. “So, how are the kids? Lip okay? Liam?”

Fiona grins at the thought of their other siblings. “Lip is doing great. He graduated from college and is training in some engineer trade or something impressive. Debbie just turned twenty-one so you know how that is.” She laughs. Ian chuckles and nods for her to keep going. “Carl is planning on joining the police academy so that’s a surprise and Liam is doing well. He moved here with me but he’s at a friend’s house tonight. He’s just entered high school now so that’s wild.”

Ian smiles sadly. “I miss you guys.” His voice is thick with emotion.

“We miss you too.” She places her hand on his arm and gives it a comforting squeeze. She looks in his eyes and tries to express how she’s not mad at him for leaving and how much she loves him. She thinks he must have understood because he smiles back and gives a timid nod.

She pulls her arm back and plucks a head of lettuce from the stack before her, then places it into her cart. She looks back at her brother and her heart aches. She doesn’t want this to be the last time she sees him. She’s just about to ask to see him again, maybe to get his number when something catches her eye.

Ian runs a hand through his hair and a glint of lights reflects off of his finger.

“You’re married?” Fiona gasps. She’s missed more than she thought. She tries to ignore the hurt she feels at the knowledge that her brother got married and didn’t even bother to tell his family.

Ian holds out his hand and smiles fondly at the silver band staring back at him. “Engaged actually.”

Fiona feels slightly better knowing he hadn’t gotten married without her yet but the affection in his voice makes her yearn for the years she didn’t get to spend with him. He chose it to be that way though and that’s what hurts the most.

Ian pulls out his phone to check the time and bites his lip when he looks up at her. “Hey, um, I have to leave. My night to make dinner, but if you want you can come over.”

Fiona’s eyes widen in shock. “Like tonight?”

Ian shrugs. “Yeah. It’s not every day I run into you.”

“Yeah, I’d love to.” Fiona’s heart races at the prospect of spending more time with her brother. She’s been dreaming of doing so for years, so the opportunity arising is so surreal.

“Here, give me your phone and I’ll send you my address. You can just follow me home now if you want.”

All Fiona can do is nod. She feels like she is in a dream as she hands him her phone. After he hands it back to her they part ways and Fiona finishes her shopping in a daze.

\--

As it turns out she does not in fact need Ian’s address because she’s able to follow him home. He only lives ten minutes away but it’s nice to know she knows his address now. If it’s okay with Ian she’ll give it to her siblings so they can send him letters. Debbie likes to do that sort of thing.

What surprises her is Ian lives in a nice town in the suburbs. They both grew up in a falling apart house in the South side of Chicago so the obvious contrast shocks her. She parks her car in front of a white one story house. Brick covers the left side of the house and accents well with the pale brick pathway to the front door. She sees an American flag sticking from a flag pole that extends from the side of the house and she smiles. Her brother always had an exceptional amount of pride for this country.

Ian climbs out of his army green jeep and nods for her to join him. Fiona quickly scrambles after him, admiring the freshly cut green grass as she follows her brother to the door. Ian makes quick work of unlocking the door and stepping inside. The door opens to an entryway with a pile of shoes unceremoniously thrown together. Ian toes off his sneakers and Fiona is quick to do the same. She notices a worn pair of brown combat boots and wonders who those belong to, her brother or his fiancé.

The thought of her brother’s fiancé makes her nervous. Ian hadn’t spoken a word about them and she worries what problems her unexpected arrival might bring. Fiona follows Ian down the hallway and smiles at the few photos hung on the wall. She doesn’t stop to admire them but she notices her brother in almost all of them and a shorter man with black hair accompanies him.

Ian leads her into the kitchen which is to the left. The hallway ends abruptly a few paces further, with a dining room to the left and living room to the right. An island separates the kitchen from the dining room, making the house seem more spacious.

Ian begins to put groceries away so Fiona takes a seat at the island, facing her brother.

“I’m making fajitas. Do you still like those?”

“Love ‘em.” Fiona confirms. She watches her brother move effortlessly around the kitchen and wonders how often he spends time in here. He didn’t cook that much when they grew up. Maybe some scrambled eggs but he seems so at ease now. Is that a thing he does now? Cook? So much time has passed leaving plenty to change she supposes.

“So, Ian,” Fiona starts as Ian digs out ingredients for dinner. “What are you doing now? You’ve got a nice house. Definitely better than our shithole growing up. What do you do to pay for it?”

Ian’s eyes light up as he explains, “I’m an EMT. Been one for about four, maybe five years.”

“Wow,” Fiona says impressed. “Saving lives, huh? What happened to the army plan?”

Fiona isn’t sure what she said wrong but Ian immediately tenses at her question. He frowns and turns his back to her and continues to cook. When he speaks, his voice has a hardness to it she hasn’t heard in a long time. “Yeah, that didn’t pan out. Different change in plans.”

Fiona senses a story there but doesn’t push. She looks around the room, trying desperately to think of something to say to get her brother’s mind off of whatever is bothering him. That’s when she sees the wedding magazines on the counter top. She doesn’t know how she missed them before.

“What are these?” She asks with a raised eyebrow. She knew her brother was a romantic, or at least was one when he was 18, but she couldn’t see him sitting down and flipping through wedding catalogs.

Ian cranes his neck to see what she’s referring to and chuckles. “Yeah, Mick is going a little overboard with all the planning, but if it makes him happy then I’ll go along with it.”

Mick. It’s the first time she’s heard his name. She wonders what he’s like. He must be one hell of a man if he’s got Ian sitting through wedding plans with him.

Ian pours slices of chicken into the pan on the stove. “Oh God, please do not ask him about the wedding.” Ian groans. “Last night he sat me down and made me decide which table cloth I liked best. For two hours.”

Fiona laughs at the pain in his voice. She is so happy for him to have someone in his life that would want her brother’s opinion on silly things such as wedding cloths.

“So, his name is Mick?”

“Mickey.” Ian corrects. “I met him shortly after I left. He helped me move into my first apartment actually.”

“Did he live near you?”

“No. I bought some furniture off of him and he helped me move it.”

Fiona nods, filing the information away to fill in the gaps.

“I got your letter.” Fiona whispers.

Ian turns from the stove and faces her. His lips are parted and he looks like he’s at war with himself with how to respond. “Oh?”

“I understand why you left, Ian. I just wish you would have said goodbye.” Fiona bites her lip to keep herself from crying.

Ian looks away from her and hugs his arms to his chest. For the first time since seeing him again he looks like his younger self, the fragile, compassionate boy she once knew. “I couldn’t Fiona. I knew if I stuck around to say goodbye I wouldn’t have left and I needed to. We both know I wouldn’t have amounted to much if I stayed.”

While Fiona didn’t agree, she once felt the same about herself so she understood where he was coming from. But now look at where Ian is. He had a nice house, a stable job, and a man he loved. Obviously leaving worked out for him in the end.

“Well hey, you’re doing great now.”

“Yeah,” Ian smiles. “I am.” Ian leans across the counter and pats her hand gently. He then stands straight, shakes out his shoulders, and resumes cooking. “Mickey’s been working but he got off a little while ago so he should be home soon.”

“Is he going to be upset I’m here? I mean to him I’m this stranger that showed up out of the blue.”

Ian shakes his head. “No, he’ll be fine. Once I tell him who you are he’ll be ecstatic. He’s been begging me to get in contact with you guys so I can invite you to the wedding.”

Fiona chooses to believe Ian would have called her eventually if they never ran into each other today. “When’s the wedding?”

“Four months.”

The two make small talk after that while Ian finishes up with the fajitas. Ian describes stories of his time as an EMT and in return Fiona tells him about sleeping with her boss before her transfer. Fiona finds it so easy to talk to Ian. She was worried it would be awkward but it’s not. It’s as easy as if he never left.

Fiona is in the middle of telling a story about Liam’s first day of high school when she hears the front door open and close, followed by a voice ringing out from the hall.

“I swear to God, if Gladdis asks me one more time to mow our grass to 2 ½ inches instead of three, I’m going to pistol whip her ass and then skin her Chihuahuas alive.” The voice grumbles. There is some shuffling which she assumes is the man taking his shoes off then his coat. “Ian, I don’t know why I let you convince me to move here.” His voice gets closer and Fiona notices how Ian is wearing a dopey smile. “One day I’m going to end up killing that bitch, and then where will we be?”

Mickey comes around the corner and stops short at the sight of Fiona. Fiona’s eyebrows raise when she takes in his appearance. He’s got short black cropped hair and pale skin which make his blue eyes stand out more. He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a black muscle shirt. He’s got a gold chain hanging from his neck and a few grease stains on his arms. All in all, he’s strikingly handsome and she silently applauds her brother on his taste in men. When he raises his hand to scratch at his jaw, she sees letters tattooed onto his knuckles but she can’t read what they say from here.

“Uh, Ian,” Mickey says, turning to his fiancé. “Who is this?” 

Ian grins at the sight of the other boy and places the spoon he has in his hand down so he can walk to where Mickey stands in the entry of the kitchen. Ian kisses Mickey’s cheek then pads back to the counter to finish fixing the salad he was preparing.

“My sister, Fiona.”

Mickey’s eyebrows raise and Fiona swears she’s never seen someone express so much with their eyebrows alone.

“Your sister?” Mickey asks slowly.

“Yup. Ran into her at the store so I offered her to join us for dinner. That okay?”

“What-the-fuck-ever, man. As long as I get food in me, I’m good.”

Ian nods and then turns to Fiona, “Hey, Fi, can you help me bring this to the table?”

“Of course.” Fiona helps carry the bowl of salad and dressings while Ian brings the fajita fixings to the table.

“I’ll grab the tortillas.” Mickey says.

Fiona stands by the table and waits to see where Ian sits to make sure she doesn’t accidently take his spot. Her brother ends up pulling a chair out across from where she is standing so Fiona sits opposite of him. Mickey strolls into the dining room and settles into the seat at the head of the table, placing Ian to his left and Fiona to his right.

Everyone serves themselves and dives into their food. At her first bite Fiona moans quietly as the spicy sauces compliment the creamy texture of the sour cream in her burrito.

“Ian, this is so good.” Fiona praises after she takes another bite.

Ian ducks his head with a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “Thanks.”

Mickey stares at Ian with a firm smirk pulling at his lips. “My man can cook, can’t he?” Mickey stretches his arm out so he can run a hand through Ian’s hair affectionately.

“Mickey, what do you do for work?” Fiona asks after the raven haired man has finished chewing.

“I’m a mechanic.” He grunts. Fiona watches amusedly as he turns to Ian and after they share a meaningful look he lets out a suffering sigh. “What do you do, Fiona?”

Fiona grins. “I’m in sales. I sell cups.”

Ian perks up at that. “Cups? You didn’t tell me that. That’s cool.”

Mickey snorts. He picks up his glass of water and takes a large gulp. “Hey, Ian?”

“Yeah?”

“You ask her yet?”

Fiona’s brow furrows and she watches confusedly as Ian rolls his eyes.

“No, Mick I haven’t.” He sends an imploring look at his fiancé but all Mickey does is stare back unimpressed. Mickey raises an expectant eyebrow and darts a look to Fiona then back to the red head.

Ian sighs then turns to Fiona.

“I was going to ask before this dick even suggested it, but do you want to come to the wedding? I didn’t want to ask tonight because I didn’t want to overwhelm you, but my idiot of a fiancé is an impatient fucker.” 

Fiona can’t help but snort when Mickey punches Ian in the arm.

She’s flattered that he was going to invite her though and he took her feelings into consideration. A part of her still feels like she would be imposing though if she were to say yes. That thought alone is ridiculous but Ian has a whole life of his own, which probably included friends that would be at the wedding who would know parts of her brother that she had no idea about. But he was family and he still asked, even after all this time.

“Yeah, I would love to.”

“Great,” Ian breathed with a smile spreading across his lips. “Invite the others too, okay? Hey, does Lip still have the same number?”

“I think so.”

“Oh good, I need a best man.”

Fiona couldn’t fight back the smile making its way onto her face. Lip would be so excited! Man, she couldn’t wait to tell Lip about today, he would never believe her.

“We’ve still got some ice cream in the fridge, you guys want some?” Mickey asks after they all have cleared their plates.

Ian and Fiona both nod. Mickey leans over the table and pecks Ian’s lips lightly then clambers out of his chair to fetch them all a bowl.

Mickey is back soon enough but before Fiona even reaches for her spoon, he runs back into the kitchen. She hears a couple cabinet doors open and close then the rush of the kitchen sink. Once the water turns off, Mickey ambles into the dining room with a pill container and a glass of water. Fiona wonders why he takes them but raises her eyebrows when she watches him place both the container and glass in front of Ian.

Mickey rests one hand on Ian’s shoulder and the other on the back of his head. He kisses Ian’s forehead and mumbles, “Take your pills, bitch.” He then sits himself down and scoops his spoon into his ice cream.

Fiona has her spoon frozen in the air, halfway to her mouth, eyes darting back and forth between the two. It’s not like she hasn’t seen Ian take pills before. When he was younger he used to get really bad headaches and was constantly swallowing down ibuprofen, but to have a pill box ready to go must mean he takes them daily. She frowns as she tries to think of a reason her brother would have a daily pill schedule.

Ian pops the Friday compartment open and pours out three pills and swallows them in one go. The curiosity and concern she has for her brother nags at her until she can’t keep quiet anymore.

“What are you taking?”

Ian bites his lip and starts fiddling with his engagement ring. “Lithium, antidepressants and antipsychotics.”

Fiona’s heart skips a beat. “Wh-what? Why?”

Mickey clears his throat. “I think that’s enough questions for one night.”

Fiona’s brow furrows. What is that supposed to mean? Was he seriously trying to keep her brother’s well being from her?!

Fiona ignores him. “Ian?” She prompts gently.

Ian’s jaw clenches and he won’t look at her. “They’re just pills, Fiona.”

Fiona tries to hide the hurt she feels at his obvious avoidance. “Hey, I just want to make sure you’re okay.” She keeps her voice soft, trying to soothe him.

“He is okay.” Mickey scoffs. “We take care of each other.”

“Mick.” Ian grasps his hand and gives him a small, reassuring smile. Ian faces Fiona before speaking once more. “I’m bipolar so that’s why I take them.”

His words punch a breath from her lungs, leaving her speechless, gaping at her younger brother. She suddenly remembers their mother who would show up sporadically, promising this is the time she would stay. She remembers desperately calming her mother down, begging her to realize Carl was her son and not in fact the police here to arrest her. And she remembers one dreadful Thanksgiving which ended with their mother passed out in a pool of her own blood, knife dangling from her fingers.

A shiver runs down her spine at the thought of her brother having the same disorder as their mother, suffering just as much.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you call? Are the meds working?” Fiona’s breathing quickens and her hands begin to shake.

“I didn’t tell you because I assumed you would react like this.” Ian defends. “Besides, I didn’t have my first episode until after I moved.”

 _After I moved._ Although logically she knew Ian did not have any episodes when he still lived at home, the words still hit her hard. Ian went through a life changing experience all on his own. He had to deal with repercussions of mania or depression, whichever one hit him first, without anyone there by his side. Fiona struggles to swallow the lump of emotion forming in her throat. And suddenly all she wants is to be surrounded by all of her siblings so she can hug each and every one of them.

“Ian, you should come home. We can talk-”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Mickey growls. His upper lip is curled into a snarl and his eyes are cold. For the first time Fiona feels scared in his presence. “Ian _is_ home. You don’t get to just show up and barge into our life, thinking you know everything. Because get this bitch, you know nothing about Ian. You weren’t here during the good, and you definitely were not here during the ugly. But guess who was? Me! Ian and I have everything handled. He isn’t some baby that needs looking after. He’s good. And when he isn’t, we deal with it. Together. Me. Him. Us. Not you.” By the end of his rant, he’s seething. His face is red and his fists are clenched on the table.

Fiona sits there shocked. She doesn’t know what to say for a minute, too overwhelmed by Mickey’s sudden outburst. She looks to her brother to gauge his reaction but he won’t meet her eyes.

“I would have been here if Ian would have let me. He’s my brother; I think I have a right to know if something happens.” Although Fiona is addressing Mickey, she doesn’t take her eyes off Ian, silently begging him to just look at her.

Ian swallows. “Fi, Mick is right. I am home and my disorder is manageable now. With my health insurance, getting pills is a lot easier than it was before. But Fiona I need you to understand something,” When Ian finally meets her gaze, his eyes are soft but hold an edge of determination. The look is familiar and reminds her of the times he would look at her like that when he was just barely a teenager, insisting he would get enough money to help them pay the rest of the rent that month. “I left for a reason and I didn’t get in contact for a reason afterwards too. Although I love you, I created a life for myself outside of our family. I am an adult now and I don’t need you to protect me anymore. When I was diagnosed I was glad it happened after I left because I knew there was no way the news would get back to you. I didn’t want to burden you with that.” Ian takes a shuddery breath before continuing, “I was in a dark place at the beginning and for a long time I felt it was best for me to keep my distance. I didn’t want to trap you all and I didn’t need to feel like I was a zoo animal on show.”

“Ian, we would never-”

“I know that now.” Ian says. He looks at Mickey and Fiona doesn’t miss the way tension visibly bleeds from his shoulders when Mickey smiles encouragingly at him. “But I was a mess back then and I honestly think it was better for me to be out of touch from things I might have been able to destroy otherwise. Besides, I was long gone when the depression hit. I would have just been filled with so much guilt if I were to call you then.”

Fiona feels a piece of her heart break at Ian’s words. She never wants any of her family members to feel like a burden, especially in times that Ian was facing. Fiona has been waiting for so long to hear his voice or even just get a text message from him again. She wishes she could go back and tell the past Ian that he could call her. He wouldn’t be intruding on their lives. He was family. Is family. But she supposes she can’t change what happened, only be thankful for how things worked out.

“It’s okay,” Fiona decides to say. She doesn’t want her brother worrying over this anymore. “I get it. Sorry for freaking out. The only person I’ve been around with it before is Monica but you’re not her, are you?”

Ian looks relieved at her sentiment and it makes her wonder if that was anything he struggled with before. Not wanting to be like their mother. She supposes she can relate, what with her fighting to not be like their father who always drank his problems away instead of fixing them. She vowed a very long time ago that she would not abandon her siblings like their parents did, yet she finds it difficult to remember why she stays sometimes. But then she thinks of Liam, who has excelled at school, and Debbie, who has a great head on her shoulders, and she remembers.

“No. I’m not.”

Dessert goes smoothly after that. Despite Ian’s earlier warnings, Fiona finds herself asking about the wedding and quickly realizes Ian was not exaggerating. Soon enough Mickey has wedding magazines spread across the table and is flicking through Pinterest wedding posts he has pinned on his phone. He asks her opinion on which flowers she likes best because _Ian can’t tell there is an obvious difference between royal blue tiger lilies and royal blue calla lilies_ which only earns the weary response from Ian, _they are both fucking blue, Mick._

Fiona smiles through their banter and the wedding talk, enjoying her glimpse into her brother’s life. She’s glad that he found someone he can relax and be happy with. And yes, it does hurt a bit that Ian had to move away and lose touch with them all to reach this point, but she’s still happy for him. Besides, she feels like something has changed today. She could have declined his offer for dinner tonight and who knows if she would have ever seen him again, but she didn’t. With dinner came an opportunity to learn a bit about Ian and who he has become. Tonight gave her an excuse to see her brother again in four months but hopefully sooner than that.

Ian thankfully steps in when Mickey gets up to fetch his vision board, stopping him with a hand on his shoulder and a roll of his eyes. Fiona smiles while pulling her phone out of her pocket and after realizing its nearing 10pm and she still has groceries in the car, she excuses herself and makes her way to the entry way. Both men follow her but Mickey stays a step behind his fiancé.

Fiona slides her feet back into her tennis shoes and turns to face her brother. Suddenly everything feels final. She can’t help but feel like this will be the last time they’ll see each other, despite the promise to attend the wedding.

Ian smiles at her crookedly and steps forward to bring her into a hug. It’s not as desperate as their first hug that day where she clung to him in the middle of a grocery store, but it’s nice. His arms wrap around her shoulders while hers wind around his waist. The hug is brief but he squeezes her tightly before he lets go, like he was silently reassuring her that this was not goodbye, just see you later. When Fiona pulls back from the hug she nods to Mickey over his shoulder with a watery smile. He smiles tightly but Fiona thinks that’s his way of being friendly to those who are not Ian.

Fiona drags the front door open and steps outside. The cool night air feels refreshing and dries a stray tear on her cheek. She turns around to face Ian and Mickey and gives one last awkward wave.

“I’m expecting an invitation on real nice paper. Maybe some lace too.” She jokes as she walks towards her parked car. Mickey smirks from where he’s leaning against the door frame while Ian rolls his eyes fondly next to him.

“You think Mickey would settle for anything less?”

Fiona chuckles. She takes one last look at her younger brother and his life he has built. She watches as Ian loops his arm around Mickey’s shoulders and pulls him in tight against his side. Mickey mumbles something she can’t hear but makes Ian laugh. Ian proceeds to kiss Mickey’s cheek briefly but firmly then waves to Fiona as she climbs into her car. It’s hard to make out but she can see the American flag waving in the night air. She smiles sadly at it, knowing now what it really represents to Ian. A dream he once had but could inevitably never achieve because things outside of his control. Fiona thinks she has her own American flag. She dreamed of having a family of her own, a husband to kiss her goodnight, and the knowledge that her siblings all lived only a few houses down the street. But like Ian, life got in the way. Instead of her own children, she raised her five siblings. And although she still sometimes finds herself yearning for someone to love her like she was beginning to see Ian and Mickey loved each other, her romance life was never easy.

Ian’s flag represented things he could no longer have, but it also represented a new life where he is just as happy, maybe even happier, than he could have been. Fiona hadn’t been entirely sure the move away from Chicago was the best decision. She was worried about leaving her siblings behind and enrolling Liam into a new school. Yet this city has already blessed her with a good, steady job and reunited her with her brother. She isn’t sure if her new life in this new city is where she will end up finding that happiness but maybe it’s where it starts.

As Fiona pulls away from Ian’s house and drives down the dark road, the stars shining bright in the black sky, she remembers something Ian had written in the only letter he sent home after he left. At the time she wasn’t sure what he meant. Things were chaotic at home, not that it was that unusual, but Fiona could feel herself approaching her breaking point. When Ian’s letter came it relieved some of the stress and worry that was constantly warring in her stomach. Her brother was safe. That’s all she really took from the letter, but now, years later, she can’t help but smile at what Ian was saying all those years ago.

_The wind is changing for me. Before I left I could hear it calling my name and even now I feel it dragging me away. I’m sorry I left like I did but I hope you understand. I sincerely hope that when the wind calls for you to turn directions, Fi, you’ll listen, because it feels freeing._

_For the first time, I feel free._


End file.
